A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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Yes, I'll have the cordon bleu, see voo play.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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what do you call a black guy african american

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If a tree falls in the forest, but nothing is there to hear it, does it still make noise ? Yes, because whether the action of the three falling produces sound waves or not is not dependent on whether something is there to receive these waves.

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

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i love to lick...

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A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

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Why does a gay guy come out of the closet? He can't see anything inside.

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Anti-Joke is a knock-off.

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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If your riding a jet ski and the wheels fall off Then how many pancakes does it take to Cover a dog house Purple because ice cream doesn't have Any bones

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm Helen Keller Everything's black

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Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

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What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

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what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

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Q. What is the best way to suicide? A. Kill yourself.

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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