What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

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Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

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When is the only time you see a Mexican and Black person driving together ? When they feel like it .

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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:D STORY TIME! :D ... :D So once upon a time there was a... :) Uhm... :\ I forgot... Sorry :(

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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