What's white and can't climb a tree? A Refrigerator

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Yo mama is so ugly that she won an award for that

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

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Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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I love pissing people off :P

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"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

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What color is an orange chicken? Fried rice

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

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What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

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So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops