whats the difference between a dead body and a car with doors that open in a diagnal manner one was never alive to begin with

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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How do you get a black man down from a tree? Cut the rope!

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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what is the difference between a dead baby in a bag and a dead baby hung in the yard....the dead baby hung in the yard was shot down off the cross after being rmr'd

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I like to rape children, then kill them, eat them and defecate them into a toilet

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You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

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why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms... Why couldn't sally get up? She had no legs Why did no one help sally? Because she has no friends.

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One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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So an African, Asian, and White man walk into a bar, what do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

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Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

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A man once went duck pin bowling, 5 years later he died of leukemia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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