You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

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why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms... Why couldn't sally get up? She had no legs Why did no one help sally? Because she has no friends.

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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So an African, Asian, and White man walk into a bar, what do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

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Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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A man once went duck pin bowling, 5 years later he died of leukemia.

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

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Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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