What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

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Indians

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares

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Q: why does batman die in the end of dark night rises? A: he smoked got cancer and died.

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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Did You Hear about the Black Guy That went to College?....Neither Did I...

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Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

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Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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Why was the little boy sad Because he has depression from his father beating him over and over every time he comes home from school...

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

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A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops