What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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