One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldn't Jimmy run in the track race? Because he has been paralyzed since he was 3, due to a horrible accident

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had completed its task on the aforementioned other side and was returning back to the coop for a feeding now that the sun had set.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock-Knock Come in! ...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -11

My mom says hi ............ Jk she says hello

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your momma so stupid, she dropped out of school at a young age of 12.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock. Who`s there? Hadooouuuuuuu! Hadou who? KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! PERFECT!!! Perfect Bonus: 38493483948394839483984 Skill 0000000 Your life 0 Bonus 9001

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What do you call a drunk man driving a Corvette with no arms, no legs and a missing eye? A: A severely impaired driver

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops