Who hangs out with a girl all day every day while he's dating her for 4 months and still doesn't get his wiener touched. Adam claypool

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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a jewish duck trips over a series of metal corckswcrews and proceeds to die of ADHD the answer is 4

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Why did the Iraqi airline crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

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Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

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what worse then stepping on a lego? watching your son kill your wife

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What do you call an Arabic man who crashed a plane into a business building? A careless pilot whose recklessness caused him to crash into a building. His stupidity and lack of plane control skill led to a horrible accident that involved the death of thousands of innocent people and the death of many business people's office pets.

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A black guy and a white girl are having sex. The white girl screams "I'm pregnant!!!!" The black guy says "i'll help you take care of it" "I love you sweetie and nothing will come between us"

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Q: Why was the mexican mowing the lawn? A: Because the grass was too tall

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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