Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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why did bill gates sue his banks? Because he can

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What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because its rayseans favorite number

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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What did the doctor say to the obese person? You have diabetes.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

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Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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