What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

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Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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whats worse that finding your having sex with your long lost sister? having sex with your long lost brother

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Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

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If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf mail man? No. Neither did he.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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A group of blondes rent a car and decide to drive to Disney World. Along the highway, they see a sign reading "Disney World left." They exit the highway, turn left, and enjoy their well-deserved vacation from practicing law.

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Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

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What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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