A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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roses are red violets are blue corey mills is and got raped by you

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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