What do you call a penguin in the desert? Most likely a dead penguin.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

steven hawking walks into a bar

A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

What did the bank teller say to Santa Claus? May I help you?

A cow and a goat are at the top of a hill. The cow starts to eat the grass, and the goat says, "Hey! That's mine!"

what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

Why couldn't Billy eat his dinner? Because a black man amputated his hands.

What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

A Muslim and 2 French people walked into a bar They start to have a nice conversation about Charlie Hebdo

Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An Irishman with a metal bar (like a pole)

why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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