What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? like most animals that wander onto the road, it was completely unaware that the road can be very dangerous. It didn't go onto the road on purpose, it simply treated the road as if it was just like the rest of the ground.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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A young baby died.

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Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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kennah campion... being nice

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

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A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

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What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops