- Anti Joke

What's the difference between 2 pieces of meat? Nothing

Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

How does a printer work? You plug it in.

apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

Who row's? •Liam Findlay

Why did Jerry Sandusky appeal his conviction? Because the judge wrongly considered inadmissible evidence.

One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

Did you hear about the comedian cereal killer?...He raped his victims before strangling them to death.

What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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