Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

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Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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