What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

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Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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How many people does it take to make a fun party? Idk, that's why I asked you, you see I'm throwing a party and wantedto know how many people I should invite.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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What rhymes with turtle? RAPE

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops