What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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What did the cat say to the hamster? Meow

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

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What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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My mom

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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your mothers so fat...... shes borderline diabetic.

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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If I became the president of the U.S.A I would change our national animal from eagle to smeagle. Like this if you agree. By Adam Chebali

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Women's Rights

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" Whats the deal with airline food? " -Sharon

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What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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