What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

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whatt dont w do you call a person with legs that dont work Crippled

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

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Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q2: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2: It was nailed to the first one. Q3: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3: Peer pressure.

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Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

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Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

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why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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what did pedobear say to the 60 year old man nothing he was too busy molesting the girl across the street

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Why was the 13 year old drug addict crying? Because somebody shot him in the foot

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Good job, son.

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

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jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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