What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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Yo mama so ugly everybody died. The End.

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Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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friend 1: Alright man, i got your back friend 2: AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

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"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Q. What did the father say to his son? A. Nothing, he just hit him with his belt. His wife tried to intervene, but she too was hit by said belt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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