What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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How did the black man get a nice car? He spent 8 years of his life getting a doctorate so he could be hired at a job that will pay for his desired vehicle.

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An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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What do black people and asians have in common? arms

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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