What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

deez nuts

Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

Q:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A:One less drunk

What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

What's better than sex? I have never had sex and, therefor, do not have adequate knowledge of the experience enough to make a comparison to other experiences. You should ask someone who has had sex.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

A man walks into a bar wearing large and baggy pants. The bartender asks him, "Why the large, baggy pants?" The man replies, "Because they're comfortable."

Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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