a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There was a 4-car accident in Mexico today. 87 people died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock. Who's There? A Banana. The middle aged man opened the door, prepared to distribute candy to the trick or treaters.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When life gives you limes....... first you have some problem and second u throw them at people

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the lesbian say to the hot dog? "nice to MEAT you" get it the hot dog is made of meat!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the man say when he had sex for the first time "So how come I'm the one with the vagina"?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get a fat man to go outside? Blow up his house

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Juan got hit by a truck Knock Knock Who's there? Juan's brother coming to stab you in the abdomen.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the 11 year old boy get for christmas? A wet dream

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, violets are blue, This is false, Violets are purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

[Set up] [No punch line]

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops