What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

What do Tutankhamun and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead

What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

What did the white man say to the group of black men when there was a golf ball coming at them? Stay there! You are in no immediate danger!

write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

What does? 42

A Black Guy, A Rabbi, And A Mexican walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get Outta Here We're Closed!"

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

Joke- Blah Blah Blah, punch line -LOL -Shut the hell up

A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

the only people that will miss whitney huston are her drug dealer and possibly bobby brown

Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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