Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why was Susie's mom crying? Because Susie got hit by a bus

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What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

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What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

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How did the Mexican got into the USA? Trough the border.

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck oak? Well, If an oatmeal man could oat chuck oat, then a wood oat chucker could chuck oats.

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What did the black basketball player say to the white basketball player when he lost? Good game.

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Your mom is so stupid that she was unable to make it into the college of her choice.

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Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Turns out he was needed immediately at a business meeting.

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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Three men walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

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How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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A magician tells the boy to get into the box and locks him in. He wasn't a magician.

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I Couldn't afford a hair cut... so i purpposely contracted HIV

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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Why does Santa live in the north pole? Because his spicy body fat keeps him warm.

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What do black people and tornadoes have in common? - It only takes one to destroy a neighborhood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops