What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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What's green and red? A frog in a blender

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Q: Why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Your question is fundamentally wrong. Religion is a collective hallucination.

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What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

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No your aunties a joke

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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Q: Why was the mexican mowing the lawn? A: Because the grass was too tall

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

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Coke or Pepsi? Trick question, beer.

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Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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