What is the difference between a bear and berries? No idea? You better stay out of the forest...

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How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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I used to be an adventurer like you. But then I retired and started a family.

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? (NO) Neither have I!

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Human race: Let's play hide and seek! BOEING MH370: K faggotz :P

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Why did the owl visit the hospital? His mom was dying of luekemia.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They didn't want to eat each other because they were friends. They died of starvation.

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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why couldnt justin beiber get into the club? because hes not legal

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What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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Billy: Hey hey hey!!!!! wanna hear a dirty joke? Joe: Sure Billy: A pig fell in the mud

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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Q: are you gay? A: maybe

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A kid walks into a bar He gets kicked out

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What do you call a Muslim on a plane? A passenger, you racist bastard.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board.

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Knock Knock. (No answer) Knocker: " I guess the resident of this home isn't home at this hour."

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Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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