A baby seal walks into a club.

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Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

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Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

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Naturally I meant to say "Its no fun even when they DO scream in pain" below... What do you think I got? Pleasure? Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: Of course I got pleasure! ;) But I wont share with you!

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Yo mama so stupid, she should be worried about Alzheimer's disease.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

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How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

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What did the prison inmate get for Christmas? A warm chair to sit in

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Q: What say one therapist to a friend? A: I'm the rapist

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Q: What's funnier than rape? A: Many things such as murder or nuclear warfare.

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Whats brown and smells bad poo

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What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

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Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

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No

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What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops