Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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What does Jason say when he rages on cod ? I hope your family gets slaughtered in front of him ..

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2 doctors are talking to each other? -Dead? -Dead.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

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Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

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A horse walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything or say anything because it is a horse. It proceeds to walk around and knock over a few tables before finding the door.

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How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

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Why was six afraid of seven You would be scared to if your name was six and you knew someone named seven

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Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

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Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

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A lepord can carry two times its weight into a tree, i dont have a joke for this yet but youll leave here learning something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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