How do you catch a predator? You throw a beartrap at a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock Who's there? Tom Tom who? Tom Rodgers I don't know you Tom decides to leave the house because the person in the house does not recognize him

thumb_up thumb_down -7

your momma so fat, that she secretly crys every night, because she is so self concious about her weight. and has to talk to a therapist because shes bolemic and has suicidal thoughts, because she cant stand the way she looks

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Luke, I am your father... Uh... Okay, thats chill, so uh, is my last name Vader or somthing? No son, my name is Anakin Skyw... NOOOOOOOOOOO THATS IMPOSSIBLE!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the fat man say when he was offered infinite french fries for life? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

a horse walks into a bar, hours later it walks out on two legs and the man who saw it all happen couldn't believe his eyes. The man then turns to the bartender and says, "I theenk eye've had enuf, Cut me hoff!"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats the difference between a European and a african an african has more pigment in his skin due to prolonged exposure to light

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

ajkswhfuilafhgkfdgbluft

thumb_up thumb_down -7

ilglsdfbvklwbkvbsjklgvsdgbvilsdbklvbwdjkbvwdfseghrfvuowebg

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer, then you will die.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock ! Who's there? Jim. Oh come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's big, yellow and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A JCB!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What did the redneck say when he ran out of beer? A: I need more beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops