What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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What do you call a pool filled with black people? A pool

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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What did the mother say when her sons asked for a can of pop? No you have diabetes.

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So theres this Jew, right? He got shot to death.

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denisssssssssssssss

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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Q: Whats the difference between nude pics and your mom? A: I can wackk off to nude pics

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? That feels quite good.

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top kek

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robin, get in the car.

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What's Pi times the square root of a panda's earlobe? Panda's do not have earlobes... thus the answer is inexplicable.

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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http://www.pollsb.com/photos/o/355988-gay_marriage.jpg

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how do u kill a blonde: drop something shiny at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 2 blondes: but a mirror at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 3 blondes: ask which 1 of them is the prettiest and then wait 5 minuetes:)

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A man is at the dentists. The dentists says, "Oh my, your teeth are terrible!" The man says, "Yes I know. I am addicted to Meth".

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what is a mix of a bull dog and a shih tzu. a bread of dog that has a shaggy face and long hair

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BTW ANders she is gone, read below, seriously! And your mother is ugly, but she is so kind to me, so ill be nice to her too... Seducing a LONE WIDOW ME 32 years she... 180 and always blushing around me? Thats gonna be hard... No seriously, I kissed her on the cheek the other day, she moaned... And she aint that old... looks like a old 40 year old. ANDERS! AAAANDEERS! CHATTERTON!!! Anyway, tell your mom, that way Ill just need to enter, kill you, and you know... make her feel like she is ... 77 again? Nah she is ahornbag so she must be younger, wont kiss her on those lips though ANDERSSSss because she smokes, the others? Sure, Ill take a pic of her squirting! From the guy that taught you how to make any woman squirt... YOu fucking asshole!

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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