Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

thumb_up thumb_down +29

An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

thumb_up thumb_down +27

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

thumb_up thumb_down +27

My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

thumb_up thumb_down +27

So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

make me a sandwich! what kind?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +25

An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops