When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

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Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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c======3

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Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

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Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

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There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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