what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why are Black Guys Black? Migration and adaptation to the harsh heat of the southern Sahara Desert. DUH.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Doesn't matter. He was hit by a semi truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the different between a blond and a brunette? Blondes taste better when cut into small pieces and fried in a skillet.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off, how is he? Well you see, the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off...He's dead. I..um..he's straight up dead. I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell ya.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops