Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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why was little johnny laughing all day cactus

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Where's the soap?

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

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What do you call an old widow with 12 cats? Forever alone.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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Theres this black guy who goes to a gun shop and buys a .45 and then goes to get a permit and uses it responsibly....

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

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What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops