- Anti Joke

Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

Knock knock. Get out!!

Why did the man kill the hamster? To get to the other side.

How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.