a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

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A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's dog? Neither has anyone else, because it ran away yesterday, and was most likely hit by a car.

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So I says to the guy "take the money and run." He then takes my money and walks down the street.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at rhyming...... TITS

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What worse than stubbing your toe? Getting raped by a panda.

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Whats the difference between a horse and glue? Nothing

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How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen... A Submarine

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What do you call Americans Watching Canadians? Hockey

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus is? Trying not to laugh.

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Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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Who is the fattest mexican on the earth? Not Osama because he's dead...and he wasn't mexican..

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What is smarter than a blind Mexican midget of average intelligence? A genius

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How many vikings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably just one, though I'd imagine it hard to teach someone from the 9th century C.E. how to, let alone explain electricity.

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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What's a boulder's favorite type of music? Boulders don't have ears.

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your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future.

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So a guy is playing jeopardy and decides to choose the category "Therapist." so he tells the host, "I'll take the rapist for 200."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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