How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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What did the prison inmate get for Christmas? A warm chair to sit in

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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Why did Little Suzy get hit by a truck? Well the real question is, "Why was Little Suzy in the road," so why was she? Because she felt like it.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A black man and a white women are having dinner at a fanncy resteraunt. The waitor asks "Who is the better tipper... I know and hands the check to the white women.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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When geese migrate, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more birds on that side.

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Why to lawyers wear neckties? It's part of the uniform.

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Antijokes...

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf guy ? He didn't.

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What's big white and can't fly? -Half of America Whats big brown and can't fly? -Crap

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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