A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

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Question:Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Answer:Because she had no arms or legs. Question:What did little Susie get for Christmas? Answer: a bike, and cancer Question: what did little Susie get next Christmas? Answer: nothing, she didn't live that long... Knock knock Who's there Not little Susie

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

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your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

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What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

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What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

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Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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Why did the boy jump off a cliff Because he was gay and committed suicide

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

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Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

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YOU

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

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what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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