Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

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did the dog explode? because it didn't have a bum hole

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why did the blind kid hit the other kid in the face? He was trying to give him a high-five.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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A woman goes into the supermarket and buys a single banana, a canned meal for one and some ice cream. While paying for her items, the cashier looks up at her and says "I can tell you're single" "Oh yeah? How'd you know?" The woman asks. "Because you're ugly as fuck." Replies the cashier.

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

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What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? Lots of stuff.

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Why was Frankenstein green? Because he painted himself green. Frankenstein is the scientist, not the monster.

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What's my favorite color?? I don't have one, i'm a joke you idiot.

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Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

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What's blue and screams when you look at it Idk that's why I'm asking you

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How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

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Q :What do you call a cow running through a field? A: Bob

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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hi im paul!

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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no

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You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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