Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

noah is a scrub jungle

She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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