Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Nobody because Repeat is a good friend and he went in after Pete.

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Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

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How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde. A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in the corner. Q: How does a blonde confuse you? A: She says she's done.

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What's the difference between a ginger and a brick? Bricks get laid

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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there is a black guy and a mexican in a car whos driving? a cop

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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What type of jobs do black people have? That depends entirely on their qualifications and suitability to the relevant role.

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What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows, he was a chicken, and was not capable of human speech, so he never told anyone.

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Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops