Pull my finger ouch..

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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why are balck people black because they are

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller read? Tree sap.

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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A: My dog has no nose! B: How does he smell? A: He cannot smell, because he has no nose.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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How do you kill a beetle? Wait outside his apartment and shoot him

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

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Why wasent Toby at school He was hit by a tree

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Yo momma is so fat, when she wears a bathing suit, people are like, wow, that woman is fat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

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all the kids had fun

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Why are there no Jews in hell? Because Hitler is there,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops