roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian food that is an American favorite, and the other is a follower of Judaism.

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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What dithe blackman say to the white man ???? Nothin! They both committed suicide.

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What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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What say the mirror if i look in it,? He died

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

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How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

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You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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