Children and bretheren, stinky cheese Stinkyy cheeeese. Like this or you will smell stinky cheese in your bedroom

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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Why do migets laught when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar, has a few drinks, chats with some fans, and leaves. The very next day, Justin Bieber is out buying groceries.

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Two corns were decided to get married. In wedding, bridegroom can't find bride, so he asked a popcorn next to him, "Do you know where is the bride?" The popcorn answered, "I just change my hair style."

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A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

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What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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Why couldn't the gay man grow a beard? He shaved his face frequently.

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I see London. I see France. Show me your boobs.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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What dod the boy with no arms get or christmas? Nothing he can't open them!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase the farmer has recently gone blind due to old age and he acidently left the gate opened and the chicken happened to walk out

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why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens just walk places. they have no agenda.

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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Hi I'm Ben What's your name? I forgot. Hi "I forgot" what's your name? Ben

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What do fat people and shinease people have in common? They both have a lot of chins.

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What do you call a penguin in the desert? Most likely a dead penguin.

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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