you: have you seen the movie constapated them:no you:its because it hasen't come out yet

What is cowboy say

Why do Mexican's wear pointy shoes? Because its part of their culture and is used as a sign of dignity when dancing to tribal music

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

That was me, I thought we where friends now... I am so sorry, I really did not send anyone nor anything, I would never do such a thing! What happened to you is terrible, I did say I knew who they where and that they are in prison, but that was a lie, I just wanted for you to think I was really confident and in control. Please Nero, let me speak to you, nothing is like you think, Jenny is my stepmother, please don't do anything.

A man was shot. He died.

Whats the difference between Amanda and Brittaney spears? Nothing, they are both worthless sluts

Guess what my nephew said yesterday? oh wait, i forgot hes dead..

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm gonna screw you and you don't have a clue !

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it felt like it, now mind your own business!

Why do you do when a homeless man asks you for money Scream bicycle and then run

Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

Does Fall come before winter? There is no defiant answer due to the fact that all seasons are in a cycle and our race has no answer to which season happened first on Earth.

Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get away from a gigantic tiger slowly stalking him

Whats the differwnce between a little girl and a fridge? The fridge doesnt scream when i put meat in it

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

Why are Chinese women such bad drivers? Only company executives are fortunate enough to own cars in communist China. Furthermore, women are still in a subordinate class in many Eastern societies.

Why did little tomas cry? Because he got raped by his uncle

Only in your math books can Carlos buy 14 cantaloupes without hus sanity being questioned.

How did the idiot die? He comitted suicide because people were picking on his stupidity. (If you laughed at this you are a horrible person)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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