Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

wats green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill u? a pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -23

masturbating on a tarc bus

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what's brown and sticky? A Stick

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Jokes related to finding a worm in an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist bastard..

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many gun shots does it take to kill you? 1..2... 3...4... Samantha reapeatedly kept shooting her enemy until she noticed that her enemy was Chuck Norris. So how many gunshots does it take to kill Chuck Norris? The world may never know.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

2 people lived next door to each other. The man said "hi" and so did the other man. What is wrong with this situation. Nothing, just friendly neighbors.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

how to you confuse a blonde you ask her to recit the alphahbet back words

thumb_up thumb_down -23

i don't hate you because your fat ...your fat because i hate you

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

how many drunk drivers does it take to drive home one and only one, if more than one drunk driver tried to drive home at the same time in the same car they would surely crash and not make it home.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

thumb_up thumb_down -23

SHUT UP, yes you... WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q. Why didn't the Atheist enter the church? A. Because Atheists do not go to church so he had no reason to enter.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops