Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

roses are red violets are hot dog this rhyme has no sense fork

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the tiger say to the jellyfish? Nothing; tigers can't talk. And if they could the chances of a tiger meeting a jellyfish would be very slim.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a butcher's shop. The priest and the minister each by a pound of pork while the rabbi doesn't because one of the 613 Commandments is that a Jew shall not eat any animal with hooves.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Colin is gay but toasters are not

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A apple is red a banana is to never mind that joke sucks

thumb_up thumb_down -19

a brunet,a redhead,and a blone were stranded on an island 4 miles away from land. the brunet swam 1 mile and drowned. the redhead swam 2 and drowned. the blond swam 3 miles and decided to swim 3 miles back to the island

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between black guy and a bucket of shit? The bucket

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A: knock knock A: knock knock knock... A: door bell

thumb_up thumb_down -19

roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

War horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long film?'

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse then running out of toilet paper? Getting shot

thumb_up thumb_down -19

knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

11/9 Americans won't get this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There once was a boy walking down the street. He got shot in the head. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops