How do you call a hispanic man crossing the border? First you must find out his phone number, then using a different phone make a phone call to him.

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Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

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A woman was at a family reunion and her husband's mother walked in. She has a chocolate allergy so the woman says the her husband,"I need more chocolate!"

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One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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Why did I write this joke Because I'm board as hell

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If a small quiz is a quizicle then what is a small test? A quiz.

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Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

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What's black, brown and red? My dog as a serial killer

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I hated the Reading festival, i'm dyslexic. I hated it because my family died in a housefire while I was there.

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Seriously, all your new jokes are shit. They are either repeats of stuff previously on the site or they are just so unfunny you'd struggle to get a sympathy laugh from your mother. Please actually take the time to think of something worth submitting or do not submit at all. We know people with no arms can't knock on doors enough now, and many things are better than the holocaust. Do something new!

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Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 8 9. I'm just counting

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How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

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Get 100,000 Twitter Followers for $49.99 at Ladsta.com today!

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Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

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How many juice does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He couldn't, his legs were broken

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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