When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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Why can't Kim and Arnold get childern ? because they are 2 stones.

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

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Why are black people like trees? Because they fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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why does andy speak when not spoken too because he wants a smack

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops