Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Ebola

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q. What's pink and fluffy A. Pink fluff Q. What's blue and fluffy A. Blue fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many Mexicans does it take to cross the border? Don't answer, just think and laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

tim tebow and mark sanchez will lead the jets to the superbowl

thumb_up thumb_down +9

69...you know how awkward this is now...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops