Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

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knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

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What is brown, white, and red all over? A part asian part white guy covered in blood after having her girlfriend have her period while they were having sex in a club in alaska near a military school that was abandoned and is now haunted but justin bieber took care of that.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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;( ;( ANTIJOKE Write Your Own --------------------------------------------------------- It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Enter the following: I AM NOT A HUMAN Your Answer SOLVE media I AM NOT A HUMAN I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Submit

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What do you call a black man on a bike? A hard-working individual who found a steady job and earned enough money to buy a bicycle of his own which he rides to and from his job because he is healthy, doesn't like to waste money on gas, and doesn't like the pollution automobiles put into the air. By Darragh Hamilton

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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I ran out of anti-jokes. However, here's a cool math puzzle. 492 357 816 Using every number from 1-9, each row added up equals to 15, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. Here's another cool word play TEA URN BAY Words horizontally are Tea, Urn, Bay Words vertically are Tub, Era, Any Words diagonally are Try, Bra

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Depending on the amount of saliva you produce each lick the answer to this question varies species to species.

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A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, grass is green, sky is blue, dirt is brown, fire is orange, water is transparent, powder is white

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Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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Q: What do you get when you get a bunch of people who confuse dark humor for anti humor? A: This website.

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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want more?

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Who invented apple? God

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Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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