Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

Q-how did the blind man cross the road? A-with a guide dog

Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

What happened to the fish? It drowned

What's under the first mate? The second mate.

Today I went to the grocery store. I purchased milk, eggs, orange juice, and my favorite breakfast cereal for $18.73. I subsequently got into my sedan and drove home.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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